La Tahzan wan...

La Tahzan..

aku first time dengar perkataan ni time 1st year dulu...Fahmi a.k.a jamboo yang ajar aku..pelik kan?? haha..Aku bukanlah seorang yang fasih dengan bahasa Arab..La Tahzan..atau maksudnya jangan bersedih...

Kenapa manusia bersedih?? Banyak sebab~~ Ada disebabkan oleh kematian seseorang yang disayangi, ada yang disebabkan oleh dipukul orang, ditinggalkan awek dan sebagainya. Aku??

Aku bukannya seorang yang lemah...Sejak daripada kecil lagi aku dilatih untuk menjadi seorang yang berdikari~ Semua benda kena buat sendiri. Sebab aku sulung, semua hal kebajikan adik aku kena jaga~ MAna dorang pergi, dengan sapa dorang berkawan...Pernah sekali tu, ayah rotan aku sebab biarkan adik aku keluar tanpa kebenaran..Hatta takat itu sekali..

Aku tak pernah duduk asrama sebelum ni.Memang zaman persekolahan aku semua berlaku di sekitar kawasan perumahan aku. Bila masuk matrik baru aku duduk asrama..Barulah aku tau, seronoknya duduk asrama. Ada senior, junior..kawan-kawan...serior..aku suka sangat..Kenapalah aku x pilih untuk menetap di sekolah berasrama dulu..

Kenapa? seronokla...aku kan anak sulung, x pernah merasa ada abang..ada kakak..nak main pon ngan kwn2 kat sekolah..balik umah x jumpa dah. bila dok asramala baru nak merasa semua ni..Sbb tu aku sangat pentingkan kwn2 aku..kalo boleh setiap masa makan aku nak join..keluar gi mana aku nak join..lepak kat mana aku pon nak join..

Sedih sangat..bila ada yang rasa aku ni menyibuk sangat~ suka nak amik populariti, x ikhlas bila tolong orang..senang cite suka jaga tepi kain orang la...aku x pernah rasa macam tu..aku tolong orang ikhlas~~

aku ni menyusahkan ke?? ye..memang aku xda lesen..dah 23 tahun xde lesen..nak pergi mana2 susah..tapi aku x pernah menyusahkan orang..kalo nak gi gunting rambut aku joging gi bilal..x pernah mintak tolong sesapa..kalo aku nak beli brg2 persendirian aku keluar pergi mydin ke..nirwana ke sendiri..x pernah tunggu orang hantar aku. kalo aku xde kawan nak makan..aku jalan sorang2 pegi makan...aku ingat pesan mak aku.. jangan suka susahkan orang..

satu je aku mintak..jgn asingkan aku..kalau susah nak bwk aku sekali sebab xde kenderaan cakap..aku x kesah..aku boleh jalan sendiri~~ aku cuma nak keluar dengan kawan2 jer..sebab bukan selalu dapat keluar sama2...sibuk...

Dorang x paham..aku tau...xper..sabar jela..

la tahzan wan~~

Back to school...

Yup...esok sekolah sudah mau bukak~~ Aku pun akan start posting baru, Otorhinolaryngology atau nama mesranya Ear, Nose and Throat..3 minggu je beb..Semua dok cakap posting ni sangat la free. Tapi I will not take it for granted. Since it's 3 weeks, so sepatutnya aku boleh pulun habis posting nih..., Tak mo lagi jadi macam Ophtalmology posting ari tuh...serik..

Apa aku buat time cuti?? Hahaha..membangkaikan diri di rumah. Tak banyak keluar pon. Aku banyak dok umah tengok TV, makan, minum, tengok Anime. Tapi puas siot!! lama dah x boleh wat benda2 macam ni. Di sini aku ingat mengucapkan terima kasih kepada Mohammad Nur Amin, Khairulanam, dan mereka-mereka yang telah memenuhkan external hard disc aku. Sampai nak naik muntah aku tgk movie dan anime kat rumah.. PUAS!!!

Dalam happy2 ni, aku agak terkilan jugak ah~~ Aku ingat kawan baik aku xmo kuar jejalan ngan aku~~ rupanya die sakit~~ adeh~~ Sian betol... dah la x bagitau.,. dok senyap jer macam tuh~~ Dengan ini saya ingin beikrar, takkan lagi bersikap serkap jarang dan penjual ikan *selfish terhadap kawan-kawan saya.. Cepat-cepatlah sembuh yer... Dah nak exam nih~~ Doa banyak2..aku pon tolong doa sekali~~

Baiklah pembaca-pembaca sekalian..I have things to do...till next time k??

p/s: I'm currently looking for any male duet songs for Malam Graduasi PPSP...and still looking for my duet for the night. Any suggestion please do tell me k??? Muah2 xox~~

Dia dah balik....hhoho

Ari ni dia dah sampai KL. Esok mau ajak dia keluar jalan-jalan..tu pon kalau dia sudi la..Sejak dua menjak ni, ntahlah, rasa macam x serapat dulu lagi. Aku dah cuba pelbagai cara, masih lagi macam tu jugak. Aku harap sangat time cuti dapat pulihkan kembali hubungan kami. x suka gado2 lama dengan kwn nie~~ mak pon ckp...hargai kwn tu sebaik mungkin...hoho

Dia dah nak exam..so aku taknak kacau dia sangat. Aku paham, dia pun xnak diganggu. Cuma kadang-kadang aku terkilan. Tu je.. Dahlah..Kita try tengok esok macam mana~~ Happy~~

Kawan..

Dengan nama Tuhan Yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Penyayang..

Lama dah x ada masa nak menulis macam ni. Since I'm on holiday and there's no book to be read (at the moment), I've decided to write as much as possible, to fill you in of what had happened to me for the past one year..

Kawan...
Sejak aku tadika lagi aku sangat suka berkawan. Rasanya semua orang tau betapa becoknyer aku..betapa aku suka berborak dengan kawan-kawan aku. Zaman sekolah dulu, aku dengan kawan baik aku, Haris, selalu jer kena pindah tempat sebab selalu sangat bercakap time kelas. Time tu ada la dalam 3-4 kali setahun kami bertukar tempat. Telinga, perut ni dah banyak kali kena pulas dek suka sangat bercakap..haha..

Tapi tu dulu, zaman di mana aku tak ada banyak masalah. Zaman di mana aku dikelilingi banyak kawan. Sekarang ni, sejak aku memilih untuk menceburi bidang perubatan, aku rasa macam sunyi pulak..nak cakap xde kawan..ada..ntahlah..Lagi-lagi sejak aku masuk tahun 4 ni, aku rasa sunyi sangat. Aku x dapat nak kongsi masalah aku dengan orang lain. Kalau dulu makan sama-sama, sekarang ni lebih banyak makan sendiri. agak sedihla..

Ingat lagi time 1st, 2nd, 3rd year dulu. Seronok sangat. Pukul 9 je mesti siap-siap nak gi makan. Time tu jalan kaki pon x kesah, asal ada kawan nak gi makan. Time makan tu la nak cerita apa yang terjadi satu hari, kat kelas ke, kat umah ker.Sangat seronok. Aku x payah cerita banyak, dengar orang cite problem dorunk satu hari pon dah ok. Aku suka sangat dah. Sekarang ni x boleh, nak makan kena ada kenderaan (to some la..not me). Nak tak nak kenalah aku dok sorang2. haha..padan muka. Aku ni jenis yang suka keadaan yang meriah. Aku x kesah orang nak bising, aku still boleh study. Sebab kat umah pon aku ada ramai adik beradik yang bising. Cuma bila xde orang nak bercakap, rasa sunyi sangat. tetiba rasa sedih semacam..giler ke apa aku ni??

Aku paham. Korang semua dah makin besar. Mungkin dah x perlukan aku lagi macam dulu. Dah boleh settlekan masalh sendiri. Dah ada yang plan nak kahwin pon. Aku gembira untuk korang. suka sangat bila dengar cite2 macam ni. Cuma yelah, kadang-kadang tu, nak jugak keluar sama-sama, macam dulu. Ke aku ni membosankan?? Yelah kan..aku x suka tengok bola macam budak lelaki lain, x suka sangat main game. Bolehla cakap aku ni pelik...

Is it difficult to entertain me once in awhile? I can entertain anyone anytime..I can lend my ears and seal my mouth anytime...aku x pernah merungut.

2-3 bulan lepas aku 'silent war' dengan kawan baik aku..xde sapa tau..Aku yang salah. Aku dah minta maaf dan pon.. Aku pon x tau kenapa aku buat macam tu..Maybe I have issues of my own. I mean, who doesn't? What I hope is that nothing will change. I did mistakes once, I'm not gonna repeat it again. Jgn sebabkan tu, lupa semua benda yang kita dah wat sama2 dulu..

Memang mood aku sedih kebelakangan ni. Dengan keadaan orang tua aku yang x berapa sihat, dengan xde kawan lagi nak bercakap. Aku rasa macam dok sorang-sorang jah..haih..

There's it..Aku dah cakap semua dah..Kenapa post aku sedih2 sejak kebelakangan ni..Aku nak enjoy tahun 4 nie..nak rasa seronok..tapi bila keadaan x mengizinkan, aku x dapat nak rasa macam tahun 2-3 dulu....

I guess some people change...but I'll be the same old me...

p/s: these are my friends who always been there for me.. yang berbaju batik tu ustaz aku..bless all of you

Home Sweet Home...

20th Disember 2009

I was eating at McB alone, since most of my friends were on holiday that time, leaving me all alone. The place was as crowded as usual, though there was no football game that day (well..McB IS the actual hang out place when there is any football match). Just as soon as I wanted to eat my dinner, my phone rang. Well...my mom actually called. I thought it was just like any other day, you see, I haven't been able to call my mom the last few weeks since I'm having a tight budget. I'd never thought that call was something important! My father was admitted in the hospital due to Dengue!!!

Dengue??????

"Mak, rumah banyak nyamuk ke??" that question spontaneously came out. "Mana ada, tempat keje ayah ko la" mom said. (ya rite...well, let me be honest..rumah saya banyak nyamuk...sebab saya x balik..kompem adik2 ku yang 'rajin' xnak tolong mak bersihkan umah!!)

I asked my mom to be calm..coz I knew, if dengue was detected early (like in my father's case)..the prognosis was usually good. I told my mom that I'd be back home IF I am able to do so..

Frankly speaking, I'd really on a tight budget right now. FAMA, as the name suggests, has been 'sponsoring' ever since in the early month. Maluuu sangat nak mintak mak duit tambang balik.. My mom told me not to spend my money on unnessesary things..Well..I just bought a Reader's Digest..Something that my mom considers as 'the unnessesary thing' a few weeks ago..So, to tell my mom that I'm running out of money was like to get a death sentence from her..

I WAS very frustrated that time. I knew nothing about dengue, it's treatment, it's pathogenesis and whatsoever. Arghhh... What sould I do..

In times of needs, you best friends are the best person to go to. Seriously, I was almost pennyless at that time. I was thinking of asking my sis, but then again..aku jugak yang selalu kene pau ngan die..mana die ada duit..

Alhamdulillah, my best friend helped me at times I thought I could never get any help..

Thank YOu so much!!!! Only Allah can repay you back...

Nasib baik..When I got back home..Ayah had already been discharged..Kesian ayah..Badan ayah kurus sangat..(well..he IS well known for his central obesity..no offence yah)..baru berapa hari je ayah masuk hospital..Tangan ayah lebam...Aku tanya ayah..sakit ke tangan? Siapa yang cucuk tangan ayah sampai macam ni..Ayah just said, never you mind. Medical students, biasala tuh


(gulp!)

I'm heading back to Kelantan tonight. I don't know when I'll be able to return back home. Bukan xnak balik..tapi keadaan tak mengizinkan. Sometimes I become jelous when some of my friends are able to go back home whenever they want. But then again..You are YOU..They are THEY. Two different people with different perspective..

Be yourself, jaga diri baik2..ayahku pesan..

Baik AYAH!!

Jaga diri...

p/s: I've gained few kilos during my stay at home. Mom's cooking is something I CAN'T resist.


Terima kasih..

Tak kusangka..

Pernah tak kebaikkan yang korang lakukan disalah ertikan?

Sedih kan??

Betul cakap kawan aku masa zaman sekolah menengah dulu ckp...jgn terlalu baik..nnti kene pijak kepala sendiri..

Itula yang aku rasa sekarang nie..

Salah ke jadi baik?? Mak aku selalu pesan..buat baik dengan orang lain..nnti akan dibalas dengan kebaikkan..

Bak lirik lagu Joget Pahang..

Melenggang hai melenggang
Dengan tali lenggang..
Kalau baik hati
Nanti orang pun sayang..

Salah ke pantun orang Melayu dulu-dulu??

Sedih kan bila disalah anggap sedemikian rupa..

Dulu kawan..sekarang bila jumpa... pandang hina dengan kita???

Sayang kan persahabatn yang terjalin..rosak macam tu je??

....................

Esok exam!!

Aku tak ramai kawan baik kat dunia nie.. Setahu aku aku cuma ada beberapa nama jer yang terlintas di fikiran bila dengar perkataan ni. Jadi, aku tak kisahlah orang nak ejek aku ke.. nak pandang serong aku ke..sebab bagi aku..mereka inilah sebahagian hidup aku, dan mereka menerima aku seadanya.

Maka dengan itu, aku mengucapkan selamat maju jaya, selamat menjawab soalan peperiksaan Selanjar 1 kepada kawan aku yang seorang ni, Muhammad Nur Amin Bin Kalil dan kawan2 aku yang sewaktu dengannya seperti Anam, K-rol, Wei kahuna, Faiz dan banyak lagi yang tak tersenarai di sini.

Berdoa dan tawakal la lepas berusaha. Aku yakin kamu boleh berjaya!

Here I am again.

It's now 2.42pm , I am sitting alone in this room, wondering, what am I going to write today? Will it be the non-stopping rain that currently keeps me hidden underneath m blanket, or will it be something about my experience troughout this week? hmmm... It's been a long time since I wrote my last entry, and I hate to admit that my writing skill is a little bit 'off' these days. Why did I take such a long time to fill in my blog? (some of you might ask) My answer is simple. I AM LAZY!!!


Right at this moment, i am still searching for the right words to use in this entry. And oh Gosh!! It's not as simple as I thought. I am not an English speaker, and I seldom use English in my daily lives. So, everytime I want to write something here, it would take such a long time just to describe what I want to say. Maybe that is one of the reasons why I seldom update my blog.

A few days ago, I visited some of my friends' blogs, and I noticed something that caught my attention. I forgot how much I love to write during my school time and how much writing had affected me. I remembered the first time I wrote in this blog, I promised that I would update as much as possible. Look what happened now?

sigh...what a shame..

Kesakitan yang amat...

Aduh..sakitnya...

Orang cakap dalam banyak-banyak sakit..sakit gigi adalah yang paling tak boleh tahan (orang cakapla..haha)...Lama dah aku tak merasa kesakitan sebegini. aduh...sakitnya Allah jela yang tahu..

Kenapa ini berlaku? Bak kata doktor-gigi-dalam-progresi atau lebih dikenali Ira..kemungkinan besar ini disebabkan gigi 3rd molar aku nak keluar? waaa.. Tumbuh gigi lagi ke? Dahlah doktor cakap gusi aku n dah 'sesak' sangat. Tengok sahaja barisan gigi aku yang 'lawa'..haha.. Ira cakap ia akan mengambil masa seminggu..baru elok..Ya Allah..sminggu ke? sesaat pun aku rasa tak boleh tahan..

Tidak mengapa..nak buat macam mana..benda dah jadi..

Ada sesiapa kat sini ada 'pain killer'?

p/s: aku ni penakut nak jumpa doktor gigi..wawawa

Gembirakah aku..atau patutkah aku takut?

Hari ini pagi aku bermula pada 11.45pg (pagikah itu? haha).. Aku pun pelik...Kenapala masa cuti ini waktu tidur aku jadi sangat panjang??(pelikkah ini? haha)...Apa-apa pun..cerita pada kali ini bukan berkisar tentang waktu bangun atau waktu tidur aku..tapi berkenaan dengan keputusan peperiksaan yang baru saja keluar..panas lagi beb..macam baru keluar oven..

Pali telefon aku kira-kira pukul 11.45 tadi..siot tol..aku masih lagi dibuai mimpi..haha..kalau diikutkan hati memang tak mau angkat langsung..tapi..yelah kan..Pali..tak diangkat..dicakapnye kita sombong..hoho..

Alhamdulillah..Pali dan Iqbal membawa khabar berita baik untuk aku..Berbaloi jugak bangun untuk dia..haha.. Macam mana keputusan aku? Cukup aku nyatakan di sini, ia memuaskan hati aku. Dapat gred apa? itu tidak penting. Yang penting, aku lulus dan kawan-kawan aku pun lulus. Alhamdulillah, ramai di antara kami yang lulus. Walaupun ada geng aku yang terkandas, tapi itu bukan satu alasan untuk menjadi rendah diri. Percayalah, aku pernah berada di tempat korang..

Bagi kami yang lulus ini, ini bukan masa untuk bersuka ria. Malah, lulus peperiksaan pada kali ini memerlukan kita untuk bekerja dengan lebih keras lagi. Dulu, Allah uji aku dengan memberikan aku kegagalan. Kini, Allah uji lagi sekali..tapi bukan dengan kegagalan..tapi dengan kejayaan. Yup..lulus peperiksaan juga satu ujian..

Mampukah aku untuk meneruskan kerja keras ku selama ini? Mengambil sepotong ayat daripada seseorang yang amat aku kagumi: Mencipta kejayaan bukan mudah, tetapi mengekalkan kejayaan itu lagi sukar..(ok..ini ayat Siti..tapi tak salahkan aku mengagumi cara dia mengekalkan kejayaannya?)

Persoalannya kini, patutkah aku bergembira dengan keputusan kali ini..atau patutkah aku berasa takut..takut menjadi takbur dengan nikmat-Nya?

p/s: terima kasih diucapkan kepada Pali dan Uncle Bell sebab tolong 'usha'kan keputusan peperiksaan aku..tahniah juga pada kalian sebab turut lulus dalam peperiksaan kali ini

New life..new me..

Lama rasanya aku x pegang papan kekunci laptop aku ni..Bukan merajuk..bukan memencilkan diri..tapi aku nak mengumpulkan kekuatan setelah jatuh gedebuk tempoh ari...bukan jatuh beskal ek? Tapi jatuh motivasi diri aku ni sikit....

Hmmm...some people might say..ala..baru sikit tu wan..takkan dah nak give up kot..well..it sounds true..and it is true..but easier said than done..for a person who never experienced something like that, ia adalah satu tamparan yang hebat bagi aku..Macam yang aku pernah cerita dulu..aku ni ego sikit..too egoistic to actually believe that things like that can happen to me..cuma tinggal masa jer..btol..memang btol..

I have to admit that..it was difficult to face my parents when i went back home a few days ago..Macam dah mencontengkan arang kat atas muka mak bapak aku...tapi mak ngan ayah tetap macam dulu..percayakan aku 100%..well.. it's great when your parents give total freedome to you..but sometimes..i do need to be treated like a small child..yang mana mak ngan ayah selalu dok perhatikan apa aku wat sepanjang ari..

What i do learn during the holidays is that..there are so many people out there that love me..that care about me soo much..and for that..I will not lose hope..For these people...I will stand tall..as long as I am able to breath in this world..

Kawan-kawan sume sangat memahami...though they lack of expressions..biasala..laki kan, mana reti nak feeling2 ni..but deep in their hearts..I know they were trying to cheer me up..and for that..I thank you..Bila pikir balik..apala sangat kegagalan aku kali ni..dorunk rasa 10x lagi teruk dari aku..

Looking at my old folks at home..I realized, I need to stay alive as a medical student..Hey! siapa cakap blaja medik ni senang? No pain no gain ok?? (i've been telling myself that, and yet, I'm still typing and not studying..haha)

So..what am I waiting for? Go burn the midnight oil..study..study!!!

p/s: I love my buddies sooo much..I love my family sooo much..Thank to you guys..I am okay now..

Pemenang Nasyid MPI..atas permintaan ramai..wawawa..

Tuhan Mahu Tunjukkan Sesuatu

Maybe aku ni alpa..

Maybe aku ni sombong.

Maybe aku ni dah rasa bagus sangat..

Maybe that..maybe this..What ever it is..It's already happened..Yeah..This time it hits me really bad. Today is just another chapter in my life..Tomorrow is a new hope..

For as long as I remembered, I am the luckiest guy ever, I have almost all the things that I want. Today..God shows..I'm just an ordinary person..And this ordinary person is nothing but a normal human being..

God plans what best for us..I have nothing against His will...What's happened has happened..Time to gather back my strengh..try to turn over a new leaf..time to let bygones be bygones..

Will I ever recover? That's a question I could never answer...

Menjelma Kembali..

After a week full of silence..I now..return to feed you all with all the latest news that's been happening around me this past week..haha..

Minta maafla..tak dapat nak update selalu blog kebelakangan ni..Sangat sibuk especially dengan Minggu Penghayatan Islam, di bawah pimpinan kawan baik aku, Muhammad Faisal..hoho..Ya..ya ..I know, I did mention that i didnt want to get involved in this MPI thingy since my schedules are all messed up this previous semester..Tapi, that doesn't mean i will not support the activities?

Yup, like the previous year, tahun ni kami still menghantarkan wakil untuk nasyid dan we aim for the best! Aku sangat terharu bila kawan-kawan aku still sudi nak masuk nasyid..Puas pujuk dorunk..berminggu-minggu lagi..sebelum cuti lagi..alhamdulillah, sorang demi sorang join nasyid kali ini.. Aku just berfungsi sebagai perantara bagi kumpulan kami..misalnya jika ada perlukan apa-apa peralatan ke..aku yang uruskan..Like always..I wouldnt miss the chance to sing..hoho..So aku pon tumpang sekaki menyanyi la..Walaupun nasyid ni bukan genre aku..wawawa... Niat aku just nak kawan-kawan aku yang dah lama tak berkumpul sesama ni..duduk berbincang..macamana nak membuat persembahan yang terbaik..

Alhamdulillah, all well ends well..Niat tu memang penting..We did our best that night..People were entertained by our performance..Gempak seh..Kami tak berniat pon nak menang. Just xnak la orang cakap kami ni masuk sekadar melepaskan batuk di tangga..ALang-alang dah masuk..wat betul2.. Kat sini..Aku dengan berbesar hatinya mengucapkan terima kasih pada kengkawan aku yang tolong secara langsung mahupun tidak langsung sepanjang kami berlatih untuk pertandingan kali ini...Allah jela yang dapat balas jasa korang..

Pertandingan Pentomin pula baru je habis 2 hari lepas..Sangat penat.,.Dah nak seminggu aku tak tidur dengan lena..Nak terkejar-kejarkan tanggungjawab aku sebagai ketua kuliah, ketua SKSPM..nak wat skrip pentomin lagi..Bukan aku taknak bagi tanggungjawab ni kat orang lain..Dah bagi dah...tapi macam biasalah..balik2 kita gak yang kene habiskan keje...Betul apa mak aku selalu cakap..kalo nak buat yang terbaik..buat sendiri..jangan harapkan orang lain..

Sejak dari kecil lagi..mak aku dah didik aku menjadi seorang yang berdikari...Yela kan..aku anak sulung..Loads of responsibilities were given to me even before i really knew the real world..Sebab tu..kalau ada kengkawan aku tanya..Kenapa tak minta tolong kitaorang ke? kenapa pi masjid tak tunggu kami ke? Jawapannya sebab aku dah lama dididik supaya tak menyusahkan orang lain..Kalau aku rasa benda tu aku bley wat..aku akan buat tanpa minta pertolongan daripada yang lain..Yup..I'm selfish in that kind of way..

Tapi memang aku tak sangka la..ari tu..bila mintak tolong kengkawan laki satu batch aku..semua datang menolong..walaupun aku terpaksa take over daripada orang lain last-last minute..TERIMA KASIH kawan-kawanku..Allah jela yang balas jasa korang..

Menang atau tidak pertandingan tu..itu semua tak penting..Yang penting..Persahabatan yang terjalin..terus terjalin walau apa pun terjadi..

Apa pun yang terjadi..

Berjalanlah tanpa henti..

Sekembalinya daripada cuti..

Arghhh...Kenapa cuti aku pendek sangat!!! Kan bagus kalau aku dapat cuti lebih lama..Tak puas rasanya cuti 6 hari je..(Sigh)..Macam yang aku dah pernah cerita dedulu..Kali ni cuti aku terpaksa dipendekkan selama 6 Hari jer..sebab aku ada extra-work kat sini, USMKK..Betapa payahnya kaki aku melangkah keluar dari rumah kelmarin..tapi nak wat macamana..dah tanggungjawab..Kenala laksanakan..

Enough is enough..nak wat macamana..(i've been saying this twice!!)....cuti banyak tu jer..Although the break is short, but it was satisfactory..yela..kalo cuti lama-lama pon bosan gak dok umah..asyik kene marah je ngan Mak..wawawa

I did not travel much this holiday,unlike my fren over here (Yup..It's you Ira!!..wawawa)..But I had fun every single minute i spent at home...Mak was like any other day..nagging here and there..haha..I've told you before..The first day at home..since I didn't sleep at all throughout the whole journey..i blacked-out as soon as I laid my butt on my bed..wakakaka..


The next day, I visited my old school..Yup..it is still in one piece..hohoho..i visited my lovely Puan Arfah, my former principle..hoho..She still remembers me..That's great!! Hoho.. Macam biasa la..kalau lama tak jumpa tu, banyakla yang aku cite ngan die..Bagus Pn Arfah ni..bukan je die ingat nama students die, die still ingat kelas mana aku dok dulu..tu yang seronok tu..hohoh..Lebih kurang satu setengah jam jugak aku kat situ...since time tu cuti sekolah..takde la ramai cikgu..so, tak jumpa sangatla ngan cikgu yang mengajar aku dulu..Masa nak keluar dari kawasan sekolah tu..nampakla ada parents ngan anak2 dorunk yang tengah harung buku-buku baru..hoho..rindu plak time dedulu..Ayah ngan Mak sanggup cuti nak beli buku-buku kitaorang adik beradik..

The day before i went back to USM..my parents brought me to my cousin's wedding..LAma tak nampak pak cik aku sorang ni, Pak Cik Mahmood nama die..adalah sebab kenapa kitaorang tak pergi umah die time raya..But one thing for sure..i'm happy that my mom dah berbaik baik ngan pak cik aku ni..terharu jugakla..

That evening, we decided to go to Malacca..Ya lorr..Negeri Sembilan kan dekat ngan melaka..hoho..The trip was great, since the last time we went to Malacca was when i was in Standard 6..Lama tuh..Malacca has grown much ever since then.. Yup..The tourist traps like Taman Buaya, Taman Rerama and a whole lot of other Tamans are still operating..Then we went to Bandar Hilir, another interesting spot for tourists...Since that day was Christmas, so the place was packed like sardine...Tak sangka plak jumpa Eye on Malaysia kat sini..Tapi ramai sangatla orang..nak turun kereta pon seram..Tu tak cakap lagi pasal shopping mall yang baru dibina..Tak ingat plak nama die..tapi besar gak ah..hoho..

Bila time nak balik tu..sedih jugakla..sebab kejap je aku dpat jumpa Mak ngan Ayah..Dah makin tua aku tengok Mak ngan Ayah..tapi dorunk still kene keje berat..Ayah kengkadang lewat malam baru balik..yela kan..kitaorang bukan dari kalangan orang berada..Ayah bekas juruteknik..Mak je still keje lagi..tapi baru-baru ni Mak cakap..kilang tempat mak tu ada masalah...Ekonomi sekarang kan dah makin turun..so..tempat keje mak pon terkena tempias nya jugak la..

Mak sempat pesan ari tuh..suruh belajar elok-elok..Jangan buat orang lain susah..kelak kita balik yang susah..Ayah tak sempat hantar..sebab kene kerja..batuk-batuk pon ayah gi kerja gak..Kesian ayah..Takper la..Ada cuti lain kali aku balikla lagi sekali..Belum naik bas lagi aku dah rindu ngan diorang..Lantak apala orang nak cakap..anak manja ke..anak boria ke..Aku still anak mak n ayah..

Lawanye beca die..RM40 sejam..jgn memain!

Ramai giler orang time tu..ntah apala dorunk tgk..

Apalah kapal ni sesat dok tepi jalan..

p/s:..Selamat Menyambut Awal Muharam 1430H...Semoga Allah mengampunkan dosa kita yang lalu, dan berazamlah untuk melakukan yang terbaik untuk masa akan datang!!

Cuti = Rindu

Bila tengok tajuk entri kali ni, kesian plak aku tengok..Bebudak lain sume dah cuti..tinggal kami yang saki-baki ni je yang baru nak merasa cuti..itupun cuti yang pendek..tak panjang pon macam kengkawan yang lain..haha..

Speaking of holiday, i've been thinking of doing loads of things when i come back home..Even though it's a 5-day off for me..but it's okay since i'll die of boredome if i stayed any longer without doing anything at home..Yup, aku sangat rindu mak dengan ayah aku..Walaupun masa raya ari tuh dah jumpa, perasaan die lain bila dah lama duduk di perantauan..I thank God i didn't take the JPA offer a few years ago..If i did, i couldnt imagine the feeling of being stranded in a different side of the world..

I still remembered my school time as if it happened yesterday..It was damn fun! Yeah, there were some difficulties here and there, but hey, things get pretty well all these years..Rasa-rasanya nak pergi tengok sekolah baliklah..Rindu sangat dengan Mrs Azamimma, cikgu bahasa Inggeris aku, kalau takde 'teacher', tak adalah aku kat sini sekarang ni. Cikgu Azman, my Physics teacher..though i seldomly practice what he thought me, but still i can benefit some of them until now Cikgu Wan Sanisah, Cikgu Khairiah just to name few..They are the important people in my life..miss them soooo much...

Bla aku lalu depan sekolah, teringat aku masa muda-muda dulu (rasa macam dah tua la plak! ahakz~) It's true what some people say, problems grow along with age..Maksudnya, makin tua makin besar masalah yang dihadapi. Mrs Azamimma once said to me: take things step-by-step, don't rush, coz every time you rush, time is no longer on your side. Cherish what you have, not what you want..Thank you teacher, for a well-said advise..

Sudah-sudahlah buat teknik imbas kembali... Sedih plak aku rasa...Yelah kan..bila makin besar, kengkawan yang dedulu tu tersebar merata dunia. Adalah 2-3 kerat yang ada dekat ngan kita (that includes you Mr Naxeef!) hehe.. .

I wish you guys could read this...

p/s: Selamat bercuti kepada Pelajar Perubatan Tahun 2 USM Kubang Kerian.. Jumpa blok CFCS nanti!! Orang Besut..nantikan kehadiran kami (why Besut? i'll explain in the future..)

Ooops...Tudungku terbang!!!

Ooooppss...tudungku terbang!!! Mungkin itu adalah alasan bagi mereka yang 'kurang memahami arahan dari Yang Maha Esa ni..

Telinga aku dah naik bernanah dah ni bila orang asyik dok tanya aku:

• Kenapa Si Dia tu pakai tudung macam tak pakai tudung?
• Baik buang je tudung tu dari bernanah mata aku tengoknye
• Pesen apa Si Dia tu pakai, macam pompuan giler je

dan yang sewaktu dengannya.

Well, frankly speaking, I have no idea how to answer these sort of questions...Tanyalah aku Portal Hypertension ke, Esophageal Varices ke, Impotency ke (well, some even labeled me as Mr. ED for some reason that I dont know)..ni tak, tanya aku pasal tudung Si Dia tu..I'm not her husband ?..

I still remembered the day when she decided to give her hand in marriage to that so-called millionaire Dato', the guys were frustating over broken dreams (including me!!..haha), while the girls were chit-chatting about her 'saya-dah-fikir-masak2-keputusan-saya' decision, which until now, doesnt seem fair to her die-hard-fan..well..it created a phenomenon all over the region for the next three months..Even so, that is not something to be proud of..In fact, I dare to say that she even lose some of the qualities that made me captivated way back in my school time...I'm afraid to say Si Dia isn't Si dia anymore...

Where's her down-to-earth attitude? I still remembered some folk in FELDA a few years ago mentioning that there were afraid if she became more popular in thr future, she may no longer entertain the villager's...More importantly, where's her sanity?,to be able to mingle off with God's order? Perhaps she is still naieve in these things., We can;t just jump to the conclusion, right?

Let me tell you what I do know..  What she is currently doing now is ABSOLUTELY wrong, in terms of religion, and in terms of seeking fame out of herself... 

Firman Allah:

“Hendaklah mereka menutupkan kain tudung ke

dadanya dan janganlah mereka menampakkan perhiasannya kecuali kepada

suami mereka, atau ayah mereka...”. (al-Nur: 31)

The quotation from the Holy Quran clearly states the needs for Moslems to care for their 'aurat'. So, apa yang nak dibising-bisingkan lagi... Dia dah kahwin, so, yang yang sebetul-betulnye kena tegur die laki die lah.. bukan aku kan?..Ya Allah...I dare not to say anything anymore..

But what i dare say is that, no matter her decision is, she knows people out there are putting high expectation on her.,so she's not comfortable with what she's doing... Personally, I think she looks more demure without her so-called hijab???? Not that I agree she should take off her hijab..Plz don;t get that wrong!

Apa-apa pun, aku tak nak masuk campur urusan rumah tangga orang..Biarla dorunk settle sendiri..Aku tetap mengagumi anugerah yang tuhan dah bagi kat insan bernama Si Dia nie...tapi tu x bermaksud aku akan menegakkan benang yang basah..what is wrong is still wrong..So i hope you guys out there, stop asking me questions like what i had mentioned earlier...

p/s: For certain reason, I had to edit some of the points in this post so it wouldn't insult anyone..I highly appreciate those who were concern enough to advice me regading this..Happy Reading..!!

Living a lonely life...

Sabar wan..sabar..jap je..nanti abih exam balikla...

This is exactly what am i telling myself to do...be patient..read your pile of books...memorize all those single facts..surely the exam would be an easy thing for you..

Yeah, rite..Easier said than done..

The fact is...i am HOMESICK!!! I want to go back home..i don't care about the exam..coz i just wanna go home...the problem now is..my mom won't let me do that..She wants me to stay back so that i can study for my coming exam..How thoughtful...

Well, she's wrong..i felt terrible being left alone here in DM2, where most of its students have already gone back home for Raya..It's my 3rd times i had to stay in my hostel for the same apparent reason..arghhhh..I hate my life...

To me, family comes first in anything...if i had problems..i'll consult my mother for her opinions..though most of the times, she doesnt help much, but the fact that i can always share my problems with her helps to lighten up the burden left on my shoulder...

I'm not blaming my mom for asking me to stay back (for the 3rd time...), i know she wants the best for me..i know..after the exam..i have a week of holiday to spend with her (not to mention my games as well..haha)..but i think it is best for me to go back first, then sit for the exam, after i have regained my will and strengh for the exam..but then....no one listens..

As i have said before..even though you think what you do is rite, there's always something wrong that you yourself might not see..but others may...

Hopefully my sacrifice worth of something...(crossed fingers)

p/s: to those who go back home this festive season..nak pesan rendang bley x? i miss rendang so much..kat kelantan xde rendang..waaaaaaa...

Problem Based Learning a.k.a PBL...

I've been listening to many complaints from my collegues about the condition of their PBLs...For those who are not well verse with PBL..it's actually a session..more like a disscussion in a group to disscuss about the problem given to us. We are supposed to find out what is wrong with the person from the sign and symptoms that are given to us...

I think I need to state this clearly..i LOVE and I LIKE my PBL so much..I like the session and I am excited each week to learn about new disease. That's why, i really want the PBL to go as smooth as possible. I like my PBL members coz there is no boundary between the non Malay and Malay as some might have problem with that. We are free to disscuss among us and we can even laugh together to jokes made by our members... I like this condition and i really want it to stay as long as possible.

But the thing is..

There is nothing perfect in this world..even the thing that we love or we care the most in this world, even my own PBL...only lately, i discovered that my PBL is not as outspoken as i tought it supposed be..thx to Dr Norwati Daud..she made me realized that most of the my PBL mates are not confident with what they are talking about..

Com'mon guys..i know most of you have read many times before attending the session..even more than me..i know that very well..most of my girlfrenz (not the one that you are thinking rite now!!) are very hardwoking..name it..kusya, atun, ain, priyah, sinthia, chia ling..all are very hardworking..the guys are also the same..but why when it comes to disscussing time..everyone keeps their voice down??? why are we whispering during PBL??? why???

I'm not saying that im good..coz i'm NOT!! I got C's for every selanjar..tak caya tanya chan..he knows me very well...so i'm not the right person telling you guys this and that..but i love my PBL so much that i don't want it to become dysfunction...

I feel sorry for my self and for those who do not use their PBL very well coz we can learn so much from PBL...in fact..it's a pity if we can't learn from Priyah, Chan, Alex..just to name few of those who are already ecxelled in their studies..

Be confident of yourself....take part in PBL..not whispering in PBL..plz say anything that comes to your mind OUT LOUD...we are in fact discussing for heaven's sake! don't be afraid if we say something irrelevant to the current situation...WE ARE STUDENTS!! WE ARE MEANT TO DO MISTAKES!!..I am rather doing mistake now than doing mistake in the future as doctors...i don't mind if you guys don't agree with me..like i said..im not the right person to tell you what to do..but i am a member of this team..and as a member..i ought to say something if there's something wrong..

Come on guys..i know you can do it!!

Sekadar gambar hiasan

p/s: to those who have problems with their PBL...don't ever think that everyone else is not having the same problem like you..we have our own problems and as an educated person..we know how to act based upon our knowledge and capability...think outside the box if we really want to solve our problems...surrender is not a good way to start...

Sad..sappy day...

Sigh....

As usual...today is the third day in which USMKK is flooded with the heavy downpour of Kelantan..i don't really mind about the rain..what i do mind is that today is yet another same day, which i've been going through ever since this semester started...

Many don't actually realize..that...behind this happy face..there's always a room for emptiness and loneliness...behind this smily face..there's always sadness that fills in the empty space...

Great!! i'm starting to speak flowery...well..like i never done that before..haha..

What i'm trying to emphazise here is that..sometimes..most of the time actually, usually in the weekends..i will start to feel lonely...it seems like living 'inside' is not fun after all...and despite everything that i do to help me discard those feelings away, it will just be in vain..I'm yet..another typical human being.

I've pictured this the first moment i knew about the fact that most of my friends were going to be transfered out early this semester..i was like:

shoot..x best nye sem ni..
well...let bygones be bygones...there's no use of saying things in the past..

it's actually very difficult to describe how i felt today....i felt lonely + worry + sad and all sorts of other negative things..let's just say it's just another bad day...like the rest of them..

usually..when i feel like this..i'll seek my best friend's help..thanks to HEP..they are all scattered everywhere..shish...but still..i'll manage to find some ways to find them..

i don't have to do much to make myself feel better..i just need to see my friends...see what are they doing..see what rubbish are they talking about...hanging out with them..when i'm with them..i don't feel like an outcast..i don't feel lonely..it's as simple as that...they dont even have to know what i am currently feeling....

today..i took some time to go out and see my friends..to me..i don't mind loosing a few hours for my friends....coz they are the only thing that make me feel 'normal' here...thank you buddy!!

i miss my school..i miss my teachers..i miss my mom..my dad n yang sewaktu dengannya..i miss my school mate..my matrix mate..and i hate growing up..sigh...but sadly...that's just another story in my life...sapala aku tanpa korang...

The Story of Cik Kumbang....

I don't know why..but recently i've been talking about bugs more often than before..hahaha...first si hitam and the next one is si kumbang rove...cait...everything is about bugs...yaikss...

anyway..this is another story featuring none other than our miss popular, si hitam which for about a week..has been trying to invade (i guess since our bilangan cik kumbang kurang skit berbanding last year)...

That night was the night before my TITAS exam (esok nak exam sempat lagu tubik makan tgh2 malam tu..haha), nik asked me to accompany him HUNTING for food..i guess all the hardwork trying to digest the histofy facts at the last minute made us feel a little bit hungry...(ya rite!!).. Seems like what we learnt about brain metabolism which uses glucose as its major fuel is true after all (of coz la...it's in the book..dont cha read??)

Anyway, to shorten up the story...i ordered this Tembikai Susu (actually i ordered for Honey Dew..or tembikai susu in Malay..but instead of giving me honey dew..that GUY gave me 'tembikai bersusu'..aiyooo ammaaaa...). so i drank and i drank the tembikai bersusu until it's almost half of the glass....suddenly..something flew inside my drinks..waaaaa....kumbang itam tu jahatla..aku tgh minum air tu..nasib baik tak tersedut sekali kumbang tu..bencinye kamu..benci..benci...

the moral is..finish up your drinks before you decided to start talking..not only you can prevent anything from entering your drinks..you can also prevent anyone from drinking your RM 3.50-valued drinks..wakakaka..(aku takkan lupa abang tu buat muka bengong bila aku mintak air tembikai susu..)

Kenapalah ko tak hinggap je kat air si nik tu???

p/s: aku ada jumpa papan tanda pelik nie..orang dok kempen Tak Nak merokok, dia dok kempen Marilah merokok..wakakaka...